like minds.

I have never 

been so alone 

as when I told you 

what I needed 

and you said 

you understood.

the space I haunt  

longs for nothing 

but presence, and still 

you choose fear.

if our tongues had 

not touched

or the contrast 

of our skin bent under 

the pressure of our 

fingertips 

if it was only 

our minds 

that touched,

only our minds. 

you deliberately left 

me alone when you knew 

loneliness was 

hunting me down.

you ran her errands, answered 

a few calls, picked up dinner,

smoked without calling,

slept next to her.

 

I have never been 

so alone as when 

we touched minds. 

 © 4.07.24 - heather brager

the prayer.

 

daybreak has crept through

open window screens to cling to shadows,

linen curtains puff gently against the 

promise of springtime, and I pray to the

moment through my cool, naked skin

will this estrangement ever fold 

its strong arms around this body, kiss 

my aging belly and guide strands of soft hair 

away from my face, and I pray with 

grace to continue to breathe, breathe

have I ever truly encountered myself with 

the fervor of newfound love, commitment of 

starlings in early season migration, a playlist

curated though late night atmospheres of 

smoke and solitude, have I ever held myself 

gently, with the trust I have gifted men,

whispered in my ear of the years I have

captivated my own heart, granted the beauty of

devotion despite hopeless pain, how much blind

faith I have invested in each dawn

© 2.28.2024 heather brager

the second time I wasn’t a Maxim model.

you dared to think 

you were deceiving 

your audience,

ego glistening like your 

oiled chest in a thirst 

trap, charming fallacy 

with basic façade

flashing lights!  “here

is my genuine character 

       

     I feel nothing.

I will save you if you

rate me using a score 

between one and ten.”

I dared to see your divine 

evolution, depths unfamiliar 

to men wallowing in the shallows

who do not seek the truth

      verity always floats.

I dared reflect on resonant 

hope, touched another time 

with my fingertips as 

they slid across your wet

skin, while the universe 

listened and kept score

if only the sky.

some grey mornings

the years are a 
withered burden,

lost instructions
from a jilted, frozen

atmosphere

wet snow piled on

the roof, a blanket

over every story

their hands holding,

then letting go

tender skin clinging

tightly to muscle,

membrane, and bone

the resilient are

solitary, damp soil

thudding on the coffin

though the stars,

remain an ethereal

tutorial, drifting

across the sky

© 1.9.2024 heather brager

my mouth.

I will inevitably concoct strings
of veracious invocations,
plead for basic commonality
that you will choose to 
devalue on repeat, while
I compete with everything
but the fucking air 
you breathe to be more 
than interim vapor

I will lie alone

and repeat lyrics to each song

under the moon’s phases, inside of 

vacant nights I will inhale the

feral emptiness that 

creeps into the spaces

where you left me waiting,

not caring that my heart

was in my lap

I must speak my truth

I will dream of your beautiful

sleeping face and arms

tenderly with burning regret

while I repeat,

repeat, repeat

you just didn’t know how 

to reach the place

where the river bends

© 1.3.2024 heather brager